walking around, looking for somewhere.

life is a maze, love is a riddle. i'm just a little bit caught in the middle.

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genkitelch
While going around Singapore last February, a group of three asked me to snap their picture against the Sentosa sign. Before that, a Singaporean Navy personnel extended an invitation to board a landing ship tank docked in front of VivoCity. A Chinese tourist also all of a sudden talked to me for a few minutes while my sister was taking pictures of the cable cars. I also had a short conversation with a salesgirl who we thought was Chinese but turned out to be a fellow Filipino.

My sister then remarked at how I seem to look approachable, because all of those people went up to me, when they could've also went to her because we were together all the time.

I bring this up because I've never thought of myself as someone who people see and approach easily. I've always thought I was semi-invisible as long as I mind my own business. I've always thought I can't easily talk to and/or be friends with random people.

Now that I think of it, that might not be true anymore.

Case in point #1: Last weekend I was on my way to attend an event at the Makati Shangri-la. As always, I had second thoughts at the last minute, especially because of the intimidating venue. After about an hour setting my phantom balls straight at the nearby Serenitea branch, I marched on to the front of the hotel and asked for information from the first bellhop I saw. I wasn't aware that another intimidated attendee was behind me. As I was going through the front doors she approached me and asked me if I was going to the same event as she was. Long story short, we stayed in the company of each other during the fair, and even after, during the train ride home. I don't know if I will see her again.

Case in point #2: Almost two years ago I was hanging out alone in front of the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, working on my obligatory selfie shot. Another Pinay girl from Dubai was also alone about three feet away, and she was having trouble with her selfie. She asked me if I could take a picture of her and of course, I obliged. We ended up chatting for more than an hour, and after I told her that I earlier puchased a ticket to go up the observatory, she decided to go along with me. Too bad the tickets were already sold out, so we had to part ways earlier. I never saw or heard from her again.

Case in point #3: After the Petronas observatory tour, I didn't want to go back to the hostel yet, and so I hung around the front again. All of a sudden a local guy chatted with me, telling me about how I should be wary of some people asking me for my email address and stuff.. that was also a good hour of stranger conversation.

Case in point #4: Meeting (and keeping in touch with) a couple of fellow ONE OK ROCK fans while lining up for the 2013 KL and Jakarta lives. Another group also offered to keep my belongings in their car after only maybe two hours of knowing each other (I checked out of my hostel before lining up early, as in I was probably the eighth person in line, thinking that KL Live had lockers I can use for luggage) OK, well, that's fandom-related and that's how fandom works, but I'm still amazed at how easy it was to talk to them even if I haven't met them even online before that day.

Case in point #5: I was reading a book while waiting for my flight home at the KLIA 2 when an elderly couple joined me and we chatted for a bit about their Philippine vacation plans (they're Filipino US citizens). Only to find out that they were seated next to me on the plane, haha.

How about that time when a random older guy talked to me and then suddenly invited me to have lunch in front of Ikebukuro station? (However kimochi warui it was, when I thought about it later.) And the time when I just landed at NAIA 3 and an older woman asked me to accompany her to the toilets because she didn't know where it was and she was afraid to go alone? When an old lady distributing free newspaper at Nathan Road tried to speak to me in Chinese thinking I could understand her? Those and probably more that I can't remember at the moment.

I don't know if I just looked gullible or if I really looked approachable, but I guess I'm not really a total non-people person after all.


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genkitelch
It's about that moment when you realize that no one's coming to save you.
You're going to have to save yourself.

We've all experienced it - we realize we're alone in this world.

No relationship, baby, or child is going to fix your life.
No mother or father is going to fix your problems.


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December 31
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genkitelch
yung moment na binati ka ng "happy new year" pero akala nung bumati e ibang tao ka.

happy new year talaga.

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after three years, ngayon lang ulit nagbisperas ng bagong taon sa bahay.

maulit pa kaya?

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sinisipon ako.

December 24
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genkitelch



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Christmas Eve will be spent trying to cook. Both things I have and haven't made before. So help me God.

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When people help out other people, is it more of a genuine desire to help, or is it more of a tool to help a person feel good about himself?
Suppose either way it would be beneficial to the person being helped out, is it really helping, or is it just bothering and making said person feel more sorry for himself?

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I kinda wanna watch Praybeyt Benjamin 2. Need to laugh. Need perfect people to see it with, though.

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Happy Holidays to everyone!

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December 20
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genkitelch
Yo, universe, I need to see Arashi in concert before I die, okay?

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A friend treated me to see Exodus Gods and Kings the other day. First and foremost, the effects were great. Not too over-the-top but very convincing. The alligator scene got stuck in my head until a few hours after I saw it! I also liked how the movie showed Moses "failing" with logic and tactics. I thought the "I am" child was a bit too temperamental (bratty, even) and the guy from "Breaking Bad" a bit useless, but what do I know? I found it funny how the movie had a sort of a shoutout to modern society trying to theorize how the plagues came about, while showing that these speculations might actually not be unfounded, because they actually used some of these guesses to illustrate the climactic point. While I appreciated that I thought Moses was more relatable on this, I felt that the movie was a bit tiresome (I found myself wanting to skip parts a couple of times) and the pacing was weird. Also, for a movie that was inspired by one of the most widely recognized Bible stories, I was still surprised by how much deus ex machina it had, like how Ben Kingsley revealed Christian Bale's genealogy like it was casual common knowledge (soooo convenient!) and stuff like that. I also remember joking with my friend about the "proceed" scene, like how they'd go through that every time, and that my friend may have to try and see how that worked, lol! Now I've watched Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments multiple times as a child (on Betamax!) and I must say that, in my book, Rameses will always be Yul Brynner. But I give mad props to Joel Edgerton and the writers for displaying how borderline insane the Pharaoh was about his child, building up into a conclusion that was more acceptable. There were good and not-so-good points, but overall, I enjoyed it.

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Friend and I went to the Fashion Hall around 5:30 PM and was surprised at how there wasn't a queue at Ippudo. We got in not even five minutes after arriving (which was rare, methinks). This was another ramen place I wanted to try and it was fortunate my friend was game. Again, no pictures, not only because I don't, but because I actually don't have a phone with me right now, it stopped working two weeks ago and I can't afford a new one. I might be able to have the HTC repaired, but as of right now money for food (albeit extravagant food) is more important than money for electronics, so...

Anyway, I wanted to try a different ramen variant, but scientific research purposes won out and I went with the simple tonkotsu "Shiromaru Motoaji" (with soft boiled egg, of course!) so I could compare with the ones I've already tasted. Before it arrived, I popped a piping hot piece of "Dashimaki Tamago with Mentaiko Mayo" into my mouth and the whole place just lit up so bright for me! I love eggs, and therefore, I loved it so so much. I ended up eating all 4 out of the 5 pieces we ordered. Tip: it's best eaten when it's hot from the kitchen!

The ramen was so simple and so delicious, I began to understand why this place is almost always packed. Pork was tender, broth so perfect, noodles just right (I always choose hard / regular). Serving was a bit smaller, but still filling. I wished it had a kick of spice, so I guess if ever there will be a next time I should go for the "Akamaru Shinaji." My friend and I got counter seats and I liked it more than when I was in Ramen Nagi a few weeks back. Ippudo tops my Manila ramen list at this point, but Ichiran would still trump it. I have to go visit Little Tokyo again for further research! I just love tonkotsu ramen at this point that I think I'd might as well swim in broth dying. Hahaha!

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I received pamasko! At my age, would you believe! What's more unbelievable is that I have to save it! I'm a loser, baby.

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December 16
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genkitelch
How do I stop myself from being a toxic person?

December 11
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genkitelch
I have three weeks.

December 10
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genkitelch
Spent most of yesterday watching documentaries on YouTube. Eventually found Austin Steven videos and watched them until I fell asleep.

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I wanna tell you something, but I'd rather not.

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I believe that a person sensitive enough would detect at which point another person completely loses hope for him.

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I also believe that people aren't indispensable.

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Random info because I'm feeling chattier than usual: I think the best birthday I've had was when I was a college freshman, away from home. Chichi was a thousand miles away but gave me a call on my mobile and wished me a happy birthday. On the flipside, I think the worst one was the year after, I was still away from home. I stayed up all night waiting for a call that didn't come.

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望まれていない is such an interesting word.


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December 08
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genkitelch
Well this is neat. It's like the second time in my life that I wanted a piece of jewelry for myself. Achievement unlocked? Haha

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I saw "If I Stay" last night and it reinforced my admiration of Chloë Grace Moretz and her good acting. I'm no film critic, but I'm surprised the movie got mostly negative reviews - the movie looked okay for me. I like the chemistry between the two leads, more so the one between the parents. Impressed with the cello-playing scenes, too. Couldn't stop the tears from flowing during the grandpa scene. I also like the soundtrack - god, I'm such a sucker for movies that have nice music with it. This one easily goes to my do-not-delete folder.

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A person I follow on Twitter dropped a Tagalog Mizuru (Michael x Yuzuru) fic she wrote and naturally, I had to check it out. I kept spazzing on Twitter because it was hilarious and basically included everyone figure skating-wise; I had fun imagining the characters (Misha! lol). It reminded me of a Super Junior fic I read a few years ago (with all the blue moon stuff) but I couldn't remember who wrote it, simply because I read too much back in the day, lol. I thought I should check out chineseink, because I think most of the SuJu stuff I read was written by her, when lo and behold, a bunch of Free! fanfics show up, and so I dove in there instead; I couldn't not.

I couldn't quite decide on an OTP while watching the anime, but her fics helped me appreciate MakoHaru so much now. This one hits close to home, in a way that it reminded me of my high school crush letting me borrow and wear his shirt (school uniform) for a school event, hahaha fond memories. Also, Makoto is freaking hot on this, idek. After reading and giving much deserved kudos I naturally had to check out more Free! ff, omg Seijuurou x Makoto exists!?! I guess Mako is really shippable with anyone. *thumbs up*

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December 07
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genkitelch
...

You wanted to exert the least amount of effort.

You start up the PC, browse for things that other people didn't want anymore. You pick out something you want, never caring about the fact that you haven't seen and tried it on. Trusting on blind faith, you tell yourself that if it doesn't meet your expectations, you'll be cool with it because you didn't spend too much time and money for it anyway.

You receive it. You try it on, it doesn't look good on you. You keep it anyway. It's just too bothersome to do anything more at this point. You let it rest. You keep thinking you'll eventually find some time to get rid of it later.

Six months. The thought crossed your mind but you almost immediately forget it.

One year. Life happened, and you were too tired to fight the current.

Three years. You wake up.

You suddenly decide to clean up. Your room, like your life, is such a mess. You find it buried under the big piles of whatever, hiding as if it's preparing for an ambush. You try it on again, maybe hoping that your state of mind and body has changed so much over the years that you'd now think it was a perfect fit. It still wasn't. You finally decide to sell it or to give it away to other people.

It took all that time and effort.



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